Murray vs Djokovic - Under Pressure...

Now this past weekend the men's final at the Australian Open occurred between Scotsman Andy Murray and Serbian Novak Djokovic. The outcome was a straight set thrashing of Murray by the Djoker and thus the drought for a British man to win a Grand Slam continues as it has for the past 75 years.

Many have noted that Murray has been under immense pressure to break that drought and to me this seems to be a classic example of pressure inhibiting one from competing at the best level.

There is nothing wrong with pressure mind you. Pressure can at times be good. It can bring out the best in you or even show you that you're doing something wrong. I even know people who thrive under the pressure, feed off its energy and perform under the most stringent of conditions like its nothing. But for every one of those there is at least one person who cannot stand up to whatever standard and thus crumbles under the shattering weight of expectation.

This living up to expectation thing.

Why do we all struggle with it? 

Why are we so fixated at times on making sure we don't mess up, don't ruin it?



No matter what you're doing, messing up is key to excelling. Why do I say that? Well because of flipping experience! There is no way that anyone reading this has gotten better at whatever skill by always succeeding!
You must have caved at least one time in your life. Heck it had better be more than one time, like a hundred at least! Its just the way of life.

However pressure can creep up on you and hit you at the most crucial time. What are you to do then?
If you excel, you'll be praised. If you fail, praise likely will not follow and at the most unfortunate times ridicule will occur.

One example fresh in my mind is I have a friend who failed to meet the expectations of a coach/team. Because of my friend there were obstacles being faced that shouldn't have been posed. The recent pressure had gotten to them and now was eating away at them. Why was my friend like this? It's cuz of the inner perfectionist my friend carries inside... The fault didn't lie with my friend's performance. Bad days happen to everyone and this was one of them. I told this to them and reminded them that it was not their fault. I just hope that my words rang within their head.

Honestly I probably shouldn't have said anything but its those moments that I feel people who are struggling with pressure need to hear that it's not their fault. I may have a horrible approach to this, but in the right way telling someone that it's not their fault hopefully leads them to understand that things will never always go their planned route.

That being said here's something my former roommate wrote to me on the last day of our conference meet

We all need to be surrounded by people who love us no matter what. Its thanks to those kind of people one's success never truly ends.

Life is full of obstacles and failed expectations, but don't let that ever stop you from moving forward.

Brotherly Love Part 3

So I only have two real brothers and thus the "series" should end there. But it doesn't :-)

I've always wanted a little sister. When I say always I mean ALWAYS. My mom tells me how when one of my brothers was born (don't remember which one) I basically cried because it wasn't a girl. Now as I mentioned above I only have two brothers and thus I never did get a sister, sadly.

Because of that growing up I ended up being an older "brother" to a few younger girls on my club swim team. Helping them with homework, giving them rides, and just being there for them when they needed a brother figure.

At the moment the two who stick out to me the most are H. and A. Mind you these two are basically inseparable and are the epitome of best friends in high school. But its these two girls who I've come to help out over the years with anything they were going through. Why? I don't know why really.

Now H. is the "dumber" one of the two. She tends to not think things through and likes figuring things out for herself. She definitely frustrated me when I'd advise her to do one thing but she go off not listening and then realize soon after that she'd be better off not doing things her own way. However it hasn't been til recently that she's finally figured things out. For some odd reason it finally hit her and it was so reassuring and awesome to hear her tell me that she wasnt going to go into anything without thinking it out first. She admitted that she had her fair share of mistakes but now she'd be different. For her to realize this was huge and for that I'm so happy for her.

As for A. it wasn't til recently that she ever needed anything from me. She always seemed to know what to do. Being the eldest in her family, guess she just really never needed an older brother. However seeing H. trust me, she began to as well. A. has her own way of doing things and she definitely thinks her way through, she's by far less carefree than H. but it makes her who she is. But what I'm realizing the most is that I've watched her grow up and what I've been seeing is a cute little girl grow up into a young lady. She may not realize this but her maturity level to the grown ups around her is high, but with her peers she's just another one of them. This is mainly due to how she was raised at home, but its paid off so well for her and I hope that she continues to use the skills that her parents taught her, for those will pay off for her in the end.

I guess the series really ends here with these two. I may revisit this some day in the future. But I've come to realize that my siblings are growing up.

Mike is becoming a young man, passionate about music, yearning for Christ, aiming to please the ones around him. 

Jeremy is on track to growing up, always looking for ways to have fun, goofball at heart. Wish for him to never lose that trait. 

H. and A. have grown up beautifully, though they may say they aren't (as many girls do). I just wish for them to keep being who they are. To remember that their friendship is key and that to always remember to think before acting.

Brotherly Love Part 2

Next in line for this "series" is my last and youngest brother Jeremy "Chubs" Kim.

So guess the nickname of Chubs no longer really sticks for him, but mind you growing up Jeremy had some baby fat on him. However he was one of those kids who would crack jokes about himself all the time (Ex. how his six pack was in fridge thats why you couldnt see it) and could always roll with the punches. Think Mike and I have to take credit for that since we basically gave him a good amount of crap that he could handle anything anyone else could throw at him.

Now like I said before Mike is the musical one. Jeremy on the other hand is the "actor" of our family. He loves impersonating things and being the goof ball he is. Mind you he is such an idiot at times and there are times that Mike and I would just love to land a punch on that stupid grinning face of his. Mainly this happens cuz Jeremy rarely thinks before he does something or speaks. Countless times this gets him in trouble but hopefully as he gets older he beings to realize the value of tact. However thats who Jeremy is and the Jeremy we love.

Oh yea Jeremy is 16 and a sophomore at New Life Christian School. Unlike Mike he hasnt given up on swimming yet and he has in the past two years begun to "break" out. He is by far faster than me at that age and I'm so excited to see what he accomplishes when he's my age now.

I guess the one thing I love about Jeremy is definitely his goof ball ness. Now I have the respect of both my brothers being the older. From Jeremy being the youngest I have to admit I have more than I do from Mike. Also the common links between me and him are more prevalent due to swimming and so he tries to emulate me. It's really cool to see how in the years, he's tried harder to do that and yet still be his own person and thats one of the main things I love about my brothers.

Below are a few of my favorite pictures of Jeremy. Hope these make you smile. If not you have no sense of humor at all :-p

Brotherly Love Part 1

So the next few posts are gonna be focusing on my siblings, real and the ones I've attempted to "mentor"/ watch out for.

Part 1 deals with my first brother, Michael Kim. He goes by Mike Kim (and as he would point out yes that is a palindrome), he just turned 18 this month and is a senior at the good ole barn of a school, New Life Christian School (the school where all the Kim boys have attended).

Now Mike is a bit weird, mind you I can say that because I am his older brother. I hear anyone else saying that about him yea well you best have my approval or Mike had better done something pretty darn ridiculous. Reason why I say this is well he's the kind of guy who can name of cars, guns, wants to do a martial art or MMA (now what guy doesn't), watch action movies. BUT he's also likes to watch chick flicks and can be quite emotional. Now there is nothing wrong that but the way Mike portrays those qualities is what's weird. Its just the way he does it and guess all I can say is that, hey it's unique and it makes him who he is.

Also he's rather unmotivated. He's one of those kids who's got talent and doesn't like to use it unless fully driven to. This at times frustrates me and my mother, but when Mike puts his heart into something like music. Gosh its so freaking amazing.

So as you can tell from the above lines, Mike is the musical one of the family. He can sing (basically always has been able to) and play the guitar (started like 4 or 5 years ago) and piano (took up in elementary school but we all gave it up due to inconsistency). Now with all that being said its always been a bit annoying in the house when he was practicing. All we wanted in the house was some peace and quiet but no we didnt get it.

I never really cared for his musical abilities that much. I was his older brother but it hasnt been til recently that I've come to enjoy and love his talents. The very first time I became somewhat interested in him was when I was home for Christmas, might have been freshman year. I was in my room when I heard him singing a part for Handel's Messiah. However I knew he was a bass for the chorus and mind you this part was pretty high. So I asked him why he was singing so high and he replied to me, "Oh I'm singing the soprano part, we don't have enough girls who can hit that note so I fill in sometimes, I can do the whole thing soprano basically..." Hearing that I was like "Say Whaaaaa?!?!" How did my brother's falsetto be able to do that. I was amazed that he could that and a little part of me was proud.

Now coming back home this year has been a real blessing to my ears. Mike's become good at what he does and he's been doing covers of songs and made up medleys. I've come to enjoy his singing and playing now more than ever.

I am PROUD to be his older brother and though he just started posting videos up on Youtube (he's got 3 up now). 

Here's his latest one and if you've got the time check his other two out. 

Compliments

We've all received a compliment before, those words of affirmation that boosted your morale and helped realize that you are indeed worth something.

The effects of a compliment can be short term but many times it also has long term effects.
Common side effects of a compliment include:

Sudden loss of hesitancy
Unusual increase of morale
Prolonged heartwarming sensation
Uncharacteristic showing of one's teeth via a smile


Now just today I was eating lunch with a friend and I mentioned something to them. In turn my friend's face lit up and told me that I had made their week with what I had just said. Ladies and gentlemen, a prime example of what a compliment can accomplish.

Warning: Excessive giving and receiving of heartfelt compliments may lead to a better and happier life.
 

Stick To The Status Quo...

So for the past few days while I've been swimming these lyrics keep coming up in my head.

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave

Consider those lines. We've all heard something like this before.
Yet thats all we do. LISTEN. 

So hard for us (myself so totally included) to actually go out and do something.
Just what is it though that blocks us from doing so?
Culture? Identity?   

Yea lets break that mold. I'm game are you?


Not a long post (and probably not the best either) here but the gist is as Nike so eloquently puts:
Just Do IT....

Attitudes

"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect it's successful outcome."
-William James

So many times whatever attitude one has determines how one's day goes. We hear this however today for me has been just one of those days. I started it off on the right foot with the best attitude and BAM! I've been having a great day so far and I fully intend to keep it that way. And as this day ends have to say mission accomplished :-).

Now I know that attempting to always have a good attitude no matter what is hard. And I'm not saying that you should feign a good attitude in hopes of having a better day, because if you do that it won't happen. Your attitude has to be genuine and from there you will reap the joyful rewards.

This isn't easy to do and I remember a request from one of my friends to change my outlook on life. That friend was indeed correct in that I should change; however to do so one needs time. But once that change is achieved, let me tell you it is soo worth the effort and you'll immediately begin to feel the effects as will the ones around you.

Some friendly advice for those of you reading.
Don't be discouraged by the attitudes around you.

You define who YOU are.

Everyone has bad days so don't be discouraged of days when you're down. Just don't make them commonplace. 

There is always HOPE. Always.

Oh and on a final note, smile. Not a fake one, but a real, genuine smile. A real smile consists of you smiling not only with your mouth but with tus ojos. You'll be pleasantly surprised by what happens when people see a true smile. 

Federer vs. Wawrinka - Sweating It Out.....

So here I am sitting watching the Australian Open men's quarterfinal match between Swiss compatriots, friends, and the 2008 Olympic gold medal winners of Men's Doubles, Roger Federer and Stanislas Wawrinka. Now Wawrinka has been doing very very well and advanced to this quarterfinal match on a high spirits; however going up against Federer he was never supposed to make it past this match. Granted that he did lose, the commentators kept saying how Wawrinka had basically given up and no matter what even if you are up against the world's greatest you should never give up hope and fight til the very last point.

Given this it made me think on how easily it is to give up when up against the best. Yet to me going up against the best one should try to see how well you can do against them. You can only get better when competing against the best and isn't that what we humans want? To progress and further one's ability?

There's no point though in giving up. You have nothing to lose. Yes you are "destined" to lose, but that should not hinder your attempts to strive to do your best.

Don't be afraid to compete.
Give it your best no matter what.
And

Worth The Effort?

So this has been on my mind lately. Scary thought is that I'm going to be finishing up college in a year (a junior right now). Hopefully going to have a job, a place to live as well after graduating. But you see those things will take care of themselves, I mean I'm worried about them but frankly opportunities will arise and the Lord will see that I'm gonna be doing something after my four years of higher education.

What I'm actually worried about is the relationships that I'm forging/have been forging for the past few years. I will honestly say right now that there are people who I DO NOT want to lose sight of. I'm sure you know what I'm trying to say, but there are friends out there for me that I am not willing to give up. 

I don't want to just remember them from time to time.
I don't want to just see them at <insert whatevereth> reunion.
I don't want to lose the ones I consider to be my "best" friends. 

What I want is:

To be in touch with them for the rest of my life. 
Keep the friendship going and know how they're doing. 
Be there for them whenever, wherever, for whatever and vice versa. 

Now I'll admit that I've so failed to do this with a good amount of my friends from high school and its that mistake thats made me realize how I dont want to repeat that again. 

So guess another challenge/goal is when you go out into the real world, into a new beginning will you keep the ones that you hold dear with you throughout your life or will they become mere shadows of the past to you, remembered only by recollection?  


Is this not worth the effort?

Did You See That?

perception 
–noun

1. the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.

2. immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral, psychological, or aesthetic qualities; insight; intuition;

We all see different things in this world. Things going well, not going well, happy things, sad things, cute things, ugly things. But how each of us perceives these things are of course all different. 


So many times we go about doing things without a full grasp of the whole picture. We then go on to give our advice to something we have no right to advise on... Or even if we do, our advice hinges on a bias.

Should we not at least attempt to understand, no matter how trivial or insanely significant? 

I'll put this out there for those of you reading this. Next time you're in a predicament first clear your mind, then attempt to see the see perceive fully understand from the other side. To do that you're gonna have to talk it out and so "try to slip past his defense without granting innocence lay down a list of what is wrong the things you've told him all along and pray to God he hears you". From there the best of luck and hopefully you land on the same page.

Guess I've got some work to do: tact, perception, stubbornness, relationships.

Stubbornness

I credit myself in my ability to never give up and in many cases that works to my advantage (i.e. swimming, goals, homework problems here and there). Yet in those cases people tend to say that you're determined, persevering, tenacious. The word stubborn doesn't come out until you come into conflict with ones around you. And so why is that?


Aren't the aforementioned adjectives, good qualities to have to keep pressing on in whatever situations? But at the same time they mean exactly the same thing stubborn means just in a positive light. So many words for the essentially the same meaning. 


Now I guess the reason why I bring this up is because there are so many times that I'm so determined to just never give up. On goals and people mainly. Why I don't know. But I was reminded again tonight that a lot of people dismiss their positive thoughts on the ones around them and that a new leaf can't be given so freely due to prior mishaps.

I know that I can be stubborn. 

I know that can lead me into trouble. 

I know that the trouble I may encounter can hurt me.  

But you know what I can live with that. 

In the end if someone has been helped/impacted then my life has been worthwhile. 
To live is Christ to die is gain.

Identity

Every journey once started eventually ends, now once the destination is reached one must choose to stay or to keep on pressing on towards another and hopefully brighter place.

Along that journey an identity is forged.

Who have you become?

What relationships have you made, invested in, lost, been impacted by?

What will you be remembered by?

 

Slow Down Time

Oh how time sure does fly. Today is my little brother's 18th birthday (he's the one singing the medley from my very first post) and its just ridiculous how he is now that old. I mean when I turned 20 this summer I felt that I was getting old but it definitely doesn't stick as much when you see the ones around you getting older as well. Odd how time works, it never stops, it consistently keeps on moving a second at a time. No force or barricade can stop time (though many, myself included wish that time would stop once in awhile). But just realizing how as day by day goes by, hour by hour we are all aging. Growing up has its perks in life, but as we age we should also grow wiser and more mature. Now don't get me wrong when I say mature I mean acting wisely or as someone beyond your years; what it doesn't mean is that you can't act young anymore after a certain age. I firmly believe that you should always be a kid at heart, especially since that way you can enjoy life. But then when important things and decisions come up you should by far show your wisdom and maturity by making the right, correct, and righteous decision.

Now with all that being said let me get back to my main point on how time can move so fast. In this face paced world we tend to forget to "smell the roses". But even so we should always take a moment to do so, sacrifice something to just take a breath and relax or contemplate something. The best way that I've heard this point proven is by the following video by Francis Chan. So if you've got the TIME, take a moment and watch the video and reflect on what Chan has to say....

Foot in Mouth

So according to Dictionary.com
tact - noun
1. a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

How many times do we regret something we've said or just haven't been able to convey what you wanted to say correctly? Then there are those times that whatever you said just screws everything up. Yea one of those moments unfortunately happened to me this past weekend. Had I just kept my comments to myself, the situation would not have become difficult and/or tense. Yet because my mouth is not trained to hold back comments from time to time, the comment slipped and there I was screwing myself over with a friend. <insert big sigh here>

Anyways with that being said if you're reading this post, just think about how many times you've heard in your life on how powerful your words can be. I mean growing up the statement of "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." we all realized how false that saying was, then of course the countless Bible verses heard in Sunday school on how the tongue is. Proverbs 21:23 being an example "Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble." point in case; keeping your tongue/mouth in check is a good thing.

Now don't get me wrong, I am definitely not encouraging people to just shut up and be quiet for the rest of their lives. More so I'm saying that people (myself  included) need to THINK before they speak. We've all heard it before and I myself have constantly berated my younger brother on that point. But just ponder on what good could come out if you actually thought out everything correctly and spoke with the tact.

All this made me think about this one song. Enjoy and if you have thoughts I'd love to hear em.

The Start of Something New

So the reason for the start of this whole blog is thanks to my good high school buddy Christopher Liberto. It wasn't til he sent out a Facebook event to "End Facebook for a month". First off this was gonna be a bit easier to him since he is in Rome this whole next semester; however he made some good points on how time consuming Facebook can be. He suggested to perhaps take the time now that is freed up to connect with your real friends, do something adventurous/worthwhile that would then be story worthy (or in Chris' case something really stupid/fun that gets him hurt or in a lot of trouble), or just use the free time to reflect and spend time with the Lord.

Upon seeing this, I took this "challenge" to heart and decided what the heck why not, shouldnt be too hard to give up Facebook for the month of January. So since the advent of the new year I haven't logged into Facebook and frankly it hasn't been too much of a deal. Sure I may be missing out on things but the friends who I keep in touch with I can do so via phone or email or even by regular mail (something many of us have forgotten in this technological era). Now with this time, I decided to start (and hopefully keep up consistently) a blog of some of the thoughts and reasonings I encounter in my daily life. We'll see how this works out and hopefully whoever reads this can glean something from these posts.

With that all being said, enjoy this song medley by Mike Kim