Going Deeper (Parts 91-202)

91. What personal prisons have you built out of fear? (4/1/14)

Out of various fears, I've built prisons of failure and regret. These two prisons remind me that things I've wanted to do in the past I have not taken advantage of and now here I am in the present looking from behind those bars.

92. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? (4/2/14)

I want to unabashedly one day just wing something completely life altering. Vague yes, but it could range from asking a random girl to be my girlfriend to moving halfway across the world on a whim. Who knows, but I do want to do something on those lines.

93. Why are you, you? (4/3/14)

Guess the reason why I am me, hinges on the values my parents instilled in me. Then the stubbornness, the want to help others, the analyticalness, all help shape the person I am today. 

94. If you haven't achieved it yet what do you have to lose? (4/4/14)

I'd say nothing, however you have your past to lose. And that can mean quite a lot since that holds dear memories and thoughts that perhaps one does not wish to forget. 

95. What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life? (4/5/14)

Blur, change, beginning. Blur for the whirlwind of things I've been up to, change for the change in companies, and beginning since I'm at another new stage in my life. 

96. Is it ever right to the wrong thing? Is it ever wrong to do the right thing? (4/6/14)

Yes to both. Laws made my humans can go against personal morals and thus both ways it can affect a person's outlook. Especially if those morals are rooted in God's Word, I'd rather follow those than a man-made law that goes against the Almighty Creator's law. 

97. How would you describe 'freedom' in your own words? (4/7/14)

Freedom is the ability to flow from one place to another without hindrance, reminding me of water flowing through or the air swirling around a city. 

98. What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life? (4/8/14)

Figure out who I am, what I want, and what I should be doing. 

99. If you could ask one person, dead or alive, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask? (4/9/14)

To choose among the people swirling in my head, plus this is probably the easy way out, but I'd want to ask Jesus, the question of why. Yep just why and see what answer I receive!

100. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? (4/10/14)

For myself, it would be a job that I'd be playing the sports I've come to love to do. First and foremost swimming, but then ultimate frisbee, tennis, racquetball, running, and cycling here and there. But also learning about them and teaching them to up and comers!

101. What is your number one goal in the next six months? (4/11/14)

I'd probably have to go with making sure I make healthy and smart decisions as I begin a new era of my life in the next few months. 

102. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else? (4/12/14)

I'm never sure of this answer, but if that person is near and dear to me I would. As for others, I'm not supposed to fear death, but I do. Thus for a random person it would be harder; however if God were to put me in that situation, I'd hope I'd have the courage to do so.

103. Are you happy with yourself? (4/13/14)

Oh please no. I know I should be, but being the analytical person I am. I am my own harshest critic. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person. But if I were to think about things here and there, I could nitpick the crap out of myself and become so annoyed and frustrated with how I am approaching and living life. 

104. What is the meaning of peace to you? (4/14/14)

Peace is when all one's troubles and worries slip away. The blanket that covers you that brings your instant warmth and easiness. True peace can only be found through Christ Jesus. 

105. What are three moral rules you will never break? (4/15/14)

Cheating on my significant other/spouse. Killing in cold blood. Loyalty to loved ones (least the best I can muster)

106. What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you? (4/16/14)

To allow them to see me for who I truly am, all my weaknesses and flaws and to let them into my life. 

107. Who or what do you think of when you think of love? (4/17/14)

I guess I tend to think towards my friends who are married, but I also wish to emulate a love that only best friends can have. A goofy and silly yet understanding, fully honest and trusting serious love. 

108. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would it end? (4/18/14)

Ha this is gonna be a bad one. Let's go with "Perpetual Yellow" (oh man that's really bad), and it would end with me probably embarking against a setback in life. 

109. What would you not give up for a $1,000,000 in cash? (4/19/14)
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My close friends and family. But I guess that's more of a "who would I not give up", what as in a thing, probably have to go with mementos from my close friends and family. 

110. When do you most feel like yourself? (4/20/14)

Sort of dorky, but I feel most like myself many a time when I'm swimming. I'm in my element. 

111. When you help someone do you ever think of 'what's in it for me'? (4/21/14).

There are some times I do, but with what I was instilled in by my father growing up. I tend not to and just want to be of help and hate being a nuisance. 

112. What is your greatest challenge? (4/22/14)

My greatest challenge is to let go of myself and letting God take control of my life, actions, and self. 

113. How do you know when it's time to continue holding on or time to let go? (4/23/14)

I'm really bad at this due to my stubbornness. But when I do advise others to let go, it happens when I know it is no longer a good thing for them and it is hurting them more than helping. 

114. How do you define success? (4/24/14)

It's really not about money or the happiness you yourself achieve. I think it's more about the people one positively touched through your interactions with them. 

115. If someone could tell you the exact day and time you are going to die, would you want them to? (4/25/14)

I would like to hear, but I'd rather keep it a surprise since the day the Lord takes me, is the day He takes me. Can't do anything to change that!

116. If I could grant you one wish, what would it be? (4/26/14)

The ability for me to act rather than mull over a decision too long. 

117. What have you read online recently that has inspired you? (4/27/14)

Joshua Becker's Minimalist page has inspired me to make sure I live not in excess, but rather to live and enjoy life as it is uncluttered. 

118. Why do religions that advocate unity divide the human race? (4/28/14)

I'm not sure why and I don't think I can really speak about a matter like this without assuming a few things here and there.

119. If you could live one day of your life over again, what day would you choose? (4/29/14)

Too many to list. Maybe 8th grade summer would be a good choice.

120. What can money not buy? (4/30/14)

A relationship with Jesus Christ. And true relationships with others. 

121. If you left this life tomorrow, how would you be remembered? (5/1/14)

As that one Asian swimmer engineer who likes to play frisbee.

122. Beyond the titles others have given you, who are you? (5/2/14)

I am just a Korean-American young adult whose primary occupation is as an engineer and enjoys being active mainly via swimming and frisbee. More of me can be found out through personal interaction. 

123. If you could live the next 24 hours and then erase it and start over once, what would you do? (5/3/14)

Try things in a way that I'd chastise myself for in the first place, taking risks that otherwise I'd be too afraid to take with people and myself. 

124. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? (5/4/14)

Yes, everyone of us is instilled with the Holy Spirit to nudge us towards that truth. Our conscience as many call it. 

125. What word describes the way you've spent the last month of your life? (5/5/14)

Whirlwind. With all I've been up to it's been a fun ride for sure :-)

126. What makes everyone smile? (5/6/14)

A genuine laugh or smile from another person. 

127. What do you owe yourself? (5/7/14)

More leniency towards myself for when I am a total nincompoop. 

128. What would your 'priceless' Mastercard-style commercial be? (5/8/14)

Swimming related purchases dealing with food, suits, apparel. Being goofy with your friends at the big meet: priceless. 

129. Can you think of a time when impossible became possible (5/9/14)

Not really, unfortunately :-/, least not now. 

130. Why do you matter? (5/10/14)

Because every single person is unique and brings something special to this world. We were all created for a different purpose. 

131. How have you changed in the last five years? (5/11/14)

I've grown up (or been forced to). Working in the real world and starting to understand the tip of the iceberg on what it means to do so, and embarking on a journey that has me making more and more decisions as I begin to start a more more independent life. 

132. What are you sure of in your life? (5/12/14)

I'm sure that there is a God who will take care of me through thick and thin. Even though at times it'll really suck.

133. When you think of ‘home’, what, specifically, do you think of? (5/13/14)

Home is where one can go back to and be loved no matter what.

134. What’s the difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are? (5/14/14)

Settling you don't make the decision, the decision comes to you through time. Accepting you have control and you can do it outright.

135. How many of your friends would you trust with your life? (5/15/14)

Wish I could say all of them, but that be lying. I'd think only two handfuls?

136. What’s your definition of heaven? (5/16/14)

Heaven is where I'll be able to glorify and praise my Heavenly Father non-stop.

137. What is your most prized possession? (5/17/14)

My most prized possession I would say would be my own thoughts just since I like to have ideas and mull over them. Now if that's not physical enough, I'd say I put my glasses in pretty high regard just because I utilize them every single day to do such an important task: correct my vision.

138. How would you describe yourself in one sentence? (5/18/14)

A stubborn boy who yearns to do so much while trying to figure out God's plan for him.

139. What stands between you and happiness? (5/19/14)

Myself not letting go the walls of perfection that I want in that situation.

140. What makes a person beautiful? (5/20/14)

To me personally, a person is beautiful when their eyes truly sparkle and smile along with the smile their mouth makes. I'm a sucker for eyes thus that.

141. Is there ever a time when giving up makes sense? (5/21/14)

NO! Haha yes there is a time when giving up makes sense. Like when I struggle so hard against the Lord's wishes and great plan for me, not realizing that once I give up, everything will fall right into place.

142. What makes you proud? (5/22/14)

Hmm two interpretations of this. The positive one is that when I see a loved one doing something that I taught them or helped them achieve well, that makes me oh so proud. Then the negative side, my cocky self becomes proud when I am able to grasp something rather quickly while others can't.

143. How do you find the strength to do what you know in your heart is right? (5/23/14)

To do something like that you've got to dig deep and know that whatever consequences arise they're just menial. If what is right in your heart is right with the Lord, there shouldn't be any hesitation ever (easier said than done though).

144. Where do you find peace? (5/24/14)

I think I wanna say that I've found peace on some of my runs when the weather has been beautiful, but most of the time I think I find peace when there is just me alone and silence. Where I can hear myself thinking and at times my own breathing. Hard to do in this day and age, but certainly doable.

145. When have you worked hard and loved every minute of it? (5/25/14)

Training my freshman year at college for swimming. I loved my teammates and the workouts and it was so much fun!!!

146. How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today? (5/26/14)

I'd say give me 10 years and I'd change how I'd live. A decade is a long time, but I feel as though the risks I wouldn't take right now would be looked at again and probably taken if I knew my time here on earth was limited.

147. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all? (5/27/14)

Loved and lost is better, even though it sucks. Never loving at all means you can harbor regret and I hate regret so much since I've been on the receiving side of it way too much.

148. What would you do if you made a mistake and somebody died? (5/28/14)

I would probably be devastated for a bit; however I would console myself and get back to the normal way of life. Yes a death is hanging on my shoulders, but the past would be the past and I have no power over time to go back and change my mistake unfortunately.

149. Who do you trust and why? (5/29/14)

I trust those who have opened up to me and vice versa. The level of trust I have with someone goes both ways. If they trust me to tell me something that is personal to them, I am more than willing to spill my guts as well. Granted it's hard to find people who make the first move, but if my impression is correct and have that vibe off of them, it just clicks.

150. If you were forced to eliminate every physical possession from your life with the exception of what could fit into a single backpack, what would you put in it? (5/30/14)

Hmm let's go with water bottle, Bible, notebook (with pen), camera, cell phone with charger, one pair of extra clothes, a good knife. Think that be it since I wouldn't want too much and granted there are so many things I'd love to keep the essentials to move around and be the person you are, are more important than storing up one's earthly treasures. Those memories will always be with you :-)

151. When does silence convey more meaning than words? (5/31/14)

When someone is upset with you. Their words just can't come out to reprimand you and thus you know that you're in deep doo doo.

152. How do you spend the majority of your free time? (6/1/14)

I like to spend it being active, but also I'm guilty of wasting it watching tv shows, anime, reading manga as well as reading books and trying to hang out with friends.

153. Who do you think of first when you think of ‘success’? (6/2/14)

I think within my family, I'd have to go my paternal grandfather in Korea who's done so much and achieved so much for his family. Then friend-wise I'd have to go with big Papa Snyder from school, he is a genius and such a man who is willing to help you with whatever.

154. What did you want to be when you grew up? (6/3/14)

I always wanted to do something that revolved around math since I was always good at it. Though there was a time I wanted to be a dry cleaner to fall into my father's footsteps.

155. How will today matter in five years from now? (6/4/14)

In five years, it won't matter too much really. Which is unfortunate but it's just another Wednesday like most others.

156. How have you helped someone else recently? (6/5/14)

Being lame here and gonna reference work, but having contracted for my company at my previous work place, I know a few ins and outs of the software my company uses. As always there are older people who don't have the best grasp on things and when they realize that a young gun knows how to help or fix, they ask. I'm more than willing to help them since their work affects our company and we are all one big team looking to complete that product.

157. What is your greatest skill? (6/6/14)

I'd like to think my greatest skill is how I analyze things (and people at times) and then make assumptions to put me a few (or several) steps in front of them or know something about them. But who know, I may just be totally off.

158. Do you see to believe or believe to see? (6/7/14)

Depends on what someone is yacking about. However I think most of the time I believe to see since I tend to trust the words of those who inform me with such info.

159. How are you pursuing your dreams right now? (6/8/14)

I don't know if I am necessarily pursuing my dreams right now besides dreaming about them..... Probably should fix that.

160. What’s the next big step you need to take? (6/9/14)

Ha! Welp buying a house is pretty big step, guess next is to find a girl who can put up with me (that'll probably take awhile....)

161. If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today? (6/10/14)

Nope! I would much rather not go to work, and instead go hang out with friends and just have a good time!

162. If today was the last day of your life, who would you call and what would you tell them? (6/11/14)

I would call those I keep in contact with from college and the close friends I have here and let them know that I won't be annoying them for much longer and that I'm going to be with Heavenly Father a bit sooner than expected.

163. Who do you dream about?(6/12/14)

Not sure, since I can never remember my dreams.

164. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? (6/13/14)

How relationships work haha.

165. What are you looking forward to? (6/14/14)

I'm looking forward to what life has in store for me next, I'm always curious and I want to see what road bump comes up and how I'll going to go around it or over it.

166. What is the number one thing you want to accomplish before you die? (6/15/14)

I'd love to travel the world, but since I'm thinking of tennis at the moment, I do want to visit each and every one of the Grand Slam tournaments. Though I don't think that is the number one thing I want to accomplish before I die. It have to go more with being able to affect multitudes of people in a positive manner and for them to know that I'll always be there for them.

167. When is love a weakness? (6/16/14)
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When it clouds all sound decisions and judgment. As well as when the thing or person loved becomes and idol in your life. That's a big no no.

168. What has been the most terrifying moment of your life thus far? (6/17/14)

My bike accident the summer of 2011. Details are in the blog just search for them :-)

169. Who is the strongest person you know? (6/18/14)

I think it have to go to my grandmothers, though I am slightly biased towards my paternal grandmother. She's just a boss with all that she does in Korea, the walking and cooking and all that jazz, phew she's a machine!

170. If you could take a single photograph of your life, what would it look like? (6/19/14)

Picture of me in a sunset against an ocean backdrop, with me at various ages of my life at different locations on the beach or rocks usually depicting how hard or easy my life at that time was, and my face looking towards the sun the whole time.

171. Is the reward worth the risk? (6/20/14)

Yes for sure! Even if it turns out to be a dud, you never know what you're going to learn about yourself when you take that risk and you'll figure out how to better yourself through that failure. You only learn through failures.

172. For you personally, what makes today worth living? (6/21/14)

The fact that I get to be on this earth and have such a fortunate life with friends and family. To be blessed so abundantly by God, should make today worth living.

173. What have you done in the last year that makes you proud? (6/22/14)

I've moved onto a new chapter in my life personally and professionally!

174. What did you learn recently that changed the way you live? (6/23/14)

That so many things cost so much extra money, thus frugality must be exercised to an even higher degree now.

175. What is your fondest memory from the past three years? (6/24/14)

One of my favorite memories is probably bouncing back after my accident and swimming at our conference meet. Not making the final heat because of a miscalculation, but I was able to end my collegiate career with a best time and a smoking win against my whole heat (I demolished them :-D)

176. What are the primary components of a happy life? (6/25/14)

Well some people might say money. But to be happy, I'd have to go with good relationships should suffice. You interact with people every day and a good relationship with the Almighty should take care of everything else.

177. How would the world be different if you were never born? (6/26/14)

They'd be minus one facetious and at time ignorant young man. But I don't know if the world would be too much different. Granted the people I interacted with may be in different areas, but I'd like to think that wherever anyone ends up isn't because of me, but it's cuz I was placed there for them by God.

178. What is your favorite song and why? (6/27/14)

Eh don't feel like answering that haha, maybe another time. Since I'm no hardcore music aficionado.

179. With the resources you have right now, what can you do to bring yourself closer to your goal? (6/28/14)

Well I can start to put some money aside for that goal and that's really all I can do at the moment.

180. What are your top three priorities? (6/29/14)

Be active. Help others. Respect my elders.

181. Why do we idolize sports players? (6/30/14)

We do this since, we ourselves can't be there and do what they do. So rather than just congratulate them we put them on such a high pedestal and standard for a game that we humans created. Now I'd love to be in their shoes, but they're just very talented people. We all have a talent, we just have to learn about it and utilize it rather than just stand back and idolize someone else's talent.

182. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?(7/1/14)

Nicest thing that someone has ever done for me....I'm not going to exactly pinpoint an exact occurrence, nor am I trying to bring about a pity party in the next few sentences. However that being said, since I tend to look out for others, I want to say that I forget myself and don't really care that I don't get anything in return. Unfortunate? Yes, to an extent. But I really do love helping others do what they want and I try really hard to be there for my friends. Now with that being said, I guess whenever a friend makes something for me or sends me a note; that's when I feel something truly nice has been done to me :-)

183. What do you see when you look into the future? (7/2/14)

I see a world that blows away conception of technology, but I also see a world that loses its grasp on physical interaction. Can't wait for the first part, but the second I hope not to be around for (but it's upon us even as I type....)

184. What makes you angry? Why? (7/3/14)

I'm not a fan at all of people who desert their friends. I'm a fan of a loyalty so it makes sense that when someone is left behind and forgotten then that's when I start to boil.

185. What is the most valuable life lesson you learned from your parents? (7/4/14)

Serve others and don't look for a reward.

186. What does love feel like? (7/5/14)

Love. Love feels like a celebration when you're running alone and then someone suddenly swings over and joins you. Making life that much better.

187. What are your favorite simple pleasures? (7/6/14)

Reading and drinking a cup of delicious tea. Conversing with a dear friend about anything. Taking pictures (even though I'm no photographer).

188. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell? (7/7/14)

Go and take those risks; don't be afraid. Take those breaks you think you may need, you're gonna need them.

189. What do you do to deliberately impress others? (7/8/14)

I try to be witty and funny. As well as somehow bring the conversation around to myself someway or somehow.

190. What will you never do? (7/9/14)

Make the move to desert a loved one.

191. Excluding romantic relationships, who do you love? (7/10/14)

My mother, who always want the best for me. My brothers, who are idiots but I'm seeing that they are so worth the time I can spend with them. My dad, who does so much to provide for me and hopes I never fail. My "adopted" little sisters who I care for so much that I would do anything for them.

192. What is your earliest childhood memory? (7/11/14)

Power ranger scooters at pre-school!

193. What book has had the greatest influence on your life? (7/12/14)

My Side of the Mountain has been a book I'm a fan of ever since I read it. I guess it's had a good influence on my life to take those chances and be my own person. Perhaps not the greatest influence of a book, but good enough for the post.

194. What three questions do you wish you knew the answers to? (7/13/14)

Why is it so hard to understand girls? What are my true talents? Why can't people decide upon things?

195. What is the greatest peer pressure you've ever felt? (7/14/14)

Probably to skip a practice? I dunno I try to not remember things like that ha.

196. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true? (7/15/14)

That my parents were perfect.

197. In your lifetime, what have you done that hurt someone else? (7/16/14)

One of the first times that I saw that my parents were treating me unfairly comparatively to my younger brothers (I'm the guinea pig as the eldest), and I yelled at my mom all the facts on how things are so different for my brothers and I. It really pained her to see me so angry at her and my dad about it.

198. What’s the best part of growing older? (7/17/14)

The best part is the sense of the unknown and actually being able to go explore it.

199. What’s been on your mind most lately? (7/18/14)

Relationships and the future.

200. What do you think is worth waiting for? (7/19/14)

Love. Oh that's so cliche. But I won't say anything different.

201. What chances do you wish you'd taken? (7/20/14)

All of those ideas that I have when out with friends or with certain people that I just brushed aside thinking that none of them would ever work or even pan out. Vague, yea just a bit.

202. Where else would you like to live? Why? (7/21/14)

SAN DIEGO, CA! Because of the climate and how so many of the physical activities I could do out all the time!

Going Deeper (Parts 41-90)

41. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby's mind, what advice would you give? (2/10/14)

Something that I've begun to notice more and more in today's culture is the lack of respect for one's elders. Now I understand that old people tend to not know some of the more current aspects of life; however their wisdom in life's obstacles is invaluable. So one piece of advice I would give would be to respect one's elders and heed their advice. The icing on the cake would be that elders do not only constitute grandparents or parents but also those older than you. For no one can truly know what a person has gone through in the years they have been alive. Thus even those a few years older than you, can be your elder in that specific area of life you're struggling with!

42. What is the most desirable trait another person can possess? (2/11/14)

Ah yes, hmm.... Well physical trait for me is that I'm a sucker for eyes. But I feel that isn't exactly what the question is going for. The most desirable trait to me would most likely be if a person can challenge me. I'll let you interpret that as you see fit.

43. What are you most grateful for? (2/12/14)

I'm most grateful for how God has blessed me with such generous and caring parents. Without their aid, I wouldn't be the person I am today and am still becoming.

44. Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong? (2/13/14)

Stealing is wrong regardless. However I suppose I would feel differently if that child was directly linked to me like my own child, nephew/niece, etc.

45. What do you want most? (2/14/14)

What I want most on this Valentine's Day is a girlfriend... Haha just kidding. But I guess what I really do want most is the ability to be able to do all the things I would love to accomplish like traveling and seeing friends wherever they are at.

46. Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right things? (2/15/14)

I would have to say that I'm a mixture of both. But if it really came down to it, I think I would go towards doing the right thing. Mainly because the Holy Spirit would just keep nudging me and reminding me that I am in the wrong, and that feeling totally sucks.

47. What has life taught you recently? (2/16/14)

Life has recently taught me that honesty in relationships is key. That can speak for itself, but friendships or relationships that aren't totally honest won't last.

48. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world? (2/17/14)

I would like to change the self-centeredness of the multitudes of people in this world. If we got rid of that, the striving for more money issue would dissolve. You could probably counter that money would still be an issue for those wanting more for their families or friends. BUT if you are truly selfless, those people would be taken care of and we would be living a life pleasing to the Lord.

49. Where do you find inspiration (2/18/14)

I think I find inspiration from observing elite people do what they are good at. I strive to be able to accomplish things or match up to people I know are "experts" or better than I am in various activities. I want to learn from them and then hopefully someday be able to challenge them. Tough question for me really...

50. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence? (2/19/14)

Hmm let's give this a go with a few six word sentences:

• Actively trying to stay in touch. 
• Always being as active as possible. 
• Blessed abundantly while straying off course. 

51. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid of to make a mistake? (2/20/14)

We are afraid because we hate letting people down. No matter what we make a mistake at, there is always somebody who we feel we are failing. Most of the times it's a loved one, at times a boss, and then our worst critic ourselves. But to then learn from our mistakes, allows us to become a better person for the future.

52. What impact do you want to leave on the world? (2/21/14)

I want to leave the impact that I was able to be the friend and family member who was able to pull through for my loved ones. Sure it would be great for the whole world to know about me. But if I'm able to leave the world, I really hope that I can make a lasting impression on those closest to me.

53. What is the most defining moment of your life thus far? (2/22/14)

Most defining.... That's hard. One that pops into my head is conference championships freshman year of college. That year all the hard work I put into swimming came to fruition with my school record setting swim in the mile. It showed me that hard work truly does pay off and that if there is a will, there tends to be a way that opens up for you (God willing).

54. In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing? (2/23/14)

I'm not seeing God's glory in all of His creation. Not seeing the love and effort shown by the people around me. Not seeing all the blessings, I've been given by my parents, friends, and most of all my heavenly Father.

55. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do? (2/24/14)

I'd take a shot at it and say it's because of curiosity and mankind's want for something more. We get through life doing things in a routine because we know it to work. That routine becomes boring and then at times they become something we don't like. However the new exciting option out there, we are just too afraid or not able to do, and thus that attracts us towards it.

56. What lifts your spirits when you are down? (2/25/14)

A simple token of appreciation from anyone close to me tends to lift my spirits. It's usually in a form of communication, but also it comes out when I see something that so vividly reminds me of my friend, be it a song, action, or object. Those reminders help me realize that is so much more to life than being down.

57. Have you ever regretted something you did not say or do? (2/26/14)

Yes, for sure! I've regretted countless times when I didn't say what I was meaning to say to a close friend. I'm still learning that honesty is so so key in relationships and it's one of those things that I aim to become better at.

58. Has your greatest fear ever come true? (2/27/14)

No, thankfully it hasn't. Though whether that be the fear of me drowning (though that's probably my greatest ironic fear) or the fear of losing all my loved ones. I pray that neither of those happens for a good while in my life.

59. Why do we think most of others when they are gone? (2/28/14)

When people are around or alive, we are always able to brush things aside and say that we'll be able to connect or talk with them at a later date. However when they are gone, that convenience is no longer there. Because of that, we are constantly reminded whenever anything reminiscent of them pops up and are unable to share that with them.

60. What is your most beloved childhood memory? (3/1/14)

Can't recall too much of my childhood really.... (and I'm not even that old!). Though I guess the most beloved childhood memory (that I can remember) is just of when my family staying after church to help out, we kids of all the parents naturally had to find something to do. I can't recall ever having a dull moment as groups of us ran around the church playing numerous activities like wall-ball, hide-and-go-seek, mafia, etc. Those days were great and I loved going to church (not that I don't now, but to be excited to go to church at a young age, that's pretty spectacular huh?)

61. Is it more important to love or be loved? (3/2/14)

Definitely more important to love. We are called to love others by God regardless if the love will be given back. However as much as I would love to be loved. Loving on others and being there for them is definitely of a higher priority!

62. If it all came back around to you, would it help you or hurt you? (3/3/14)

I'd like to say that it would help me. But I really don't know. I like to think myself as a decent person, but frankly that's through my own rose-colored glasses. Only God knows the answer to that.

63. If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing would you do it? (3/4/14)

I would go back in time and change that moment in middle school that my naivety went sour. I still wish that I had the courage back then to be how I am now.

64. If a doctor gave you five years to live, what would you try to accomplish? (3/5/14)

In five years, I would try to visit as many countries as possible, see all my family that I've never seen, spend at least a full year with just the close friends, and then do as much good possible in a way to glorify God in all that I do in those last five years.

65. What is the difference of falling in love and being in love? (3/6/14)

Falling in love is the easy part of the relationship; whereas being in love is the hard part. Falling in love is the process that everyone talks about; being in love is the part that we tend to hush up about. Falling in love is when you see a person through the best lens; being in love is when you take those rose-colored glasses off and see who the person truly is.

66. Who do you think stands between you and happiness? (3/7/14)

That's an easy question to answer. The person who stands between myself and happiness is myself! I constantly am the one getting in my own way. Perhaps wanting more aka not being satisfied with the blessings that God has provided me with in my current situation or just being so skeptical during the happy times that I am not able to enjoy the happiness around me. Maybe at times there are some party poopers around that bring me down, but for the most part I, myself, get in my own way and block myself from happiness.

67. What is the difference between innocence and ignorance? (3/8/14)

Innocence to me is that when you truly don't know if something is wrong or bad and you haven't been corrupted. Ignorance is that you do know what is going on and yet you fail to do something about it.

68. What is the simplest truth you can express in words? (3/9/14)

Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior, and everything is in the Lord's control.

69. What gives your life meaning? (3/10/14)

As of late, I feel that I need to show the love that my heavenly Father shows me more to others. It goes with how I am stubbornly loyal to people who are close to me. However I do need to be as compassionate to all. So I guess what gives my life meaning is to be the dependable and trustworthy person that people come to. Sure I'm only human and can't take on everyone's problems (nor do I want to); however I do want to portray the love of my Savior as best as I can.

70. Can there be happiness without sadness? Pleasure without pain? Peace without war? (3/11/14)

I would have to say no to all of the above. Each of those go hand in hand, especially since you cannot be happy, be in pleasure, and at peace all the time. Thus the Chinese thinking of yin and yang rings true. There are always opposites to all things, the biggest example being good and evil. God created us with the will to decide things and frankly you can't decide if there is only one option can you now? So each of the three aforementioned dualisms in the question, go hand in hand and tend to be product of each other in life.

71. What's the one thing you'd like others to remember about you at the end of your life? (3/12/14)

That I was the loved one they could count on.

72. Is there such a thing as perfect? (3/13/14)

No such thing; however the triune deity whom I call my Savior is.

73. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? (3/14/14)

Hahaha, I've had a lot less control than I've wished for. And though I wish I could be in the situation where I'm able to control the outcome, I could have never seen myself in the situation that I'm currently in. The Lord just loves showing me that He's got everything under control in all aspects of my life, even when it makes me have to partially (or fully) surrender the control to Him.

74. What does it mean to be human? (3/15/14)

It means to err, to love and be heartbroken, to care and be brushed aside, to question the simplicities and intricacies of this world, to yearn for companionship, to feel pain coursing through one's body and spirit, and to know that we humans are not the be all end all.

75. If you looked into the heart of your enemy, what do you think you would find that is different from what is in your own heart? (3/16/14)

If I were to have an enemy (at the moment I don't think I have a human one since I'm not gonna count Satan in this question), I think the thing I would find most different would be beliefs we both hold dear. Our beliefs would differ in the nature of God and what we would do for our loved ones. I can't really put that one into thought and maybe this will be a question I will one day revisit?

76. What do you love most about yourself? (3/17/14)

I'd have to admit that what I love most about myself is my stubbornness or the better term being diligence. The ability to keep going is something that I pride myself for having and I hope to be able to keep at it as I get older.

77. Where would you most likely go and why? (3/18/14)

I honestly would love to go to southern California. I may have only spent two weeks out there visiting my girlfriend-at-the-time. However the temperate year round weather, the fresh fruit and veggies in your own backyard, and the proximity of all things active around you are definitely the biggest reasons why I'd go out there.

78. Is it more important to do what you love or to love what you're doing? (3/19/14)

I'd have to go with 'do what you love', everyone has their own niche. Whereas not everyone can stand to every certain thing with love, no matter how great a person you are. We are humans and are flawed, yes we can do our best portray God's love in everything we do. But He gave us unique gifts and exercising those gifts brings Him the ultimate glory. I'm not saying there's nothing wrong with loving whatever you're doing at any given time. Just iterating the opinion that one it's much easier to 'do what you love' and two it brings attention to your unique God-given abilities.

79. What do you imagine yourself doing in ten years from now? (3/20/14)

In ten years, I hope to be a head of a household and a father. Sure it's something that most people want, but I think in ten years time that I will be ready for that responsibility. Also by that time I think the Lord will have taught me so many things, and will still be teaching me things as I get older and older.

80. What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget? (3/21/14)

When I had just started swimming on my club team, I was at a swim meet for the age groups and my coach was actually competing as well. She was getting ready to swim the 500 freestyle and she had asked me to count for her. She gently told me that one of the older kids on the team would help me and lo and behold a guy on the team Luke Anderson ambled over to teach me. Now I'm about 8 or 9 years old and a tiny shrimp, whereas Luke was in high school and typical swimmer guy build (big, broad shoulders, tall, etc.). Just a tad bit intimidating at first, but he was extremely kind and thoughtful as he showed me the ins and outs of a simple swimmer task. That has stuck with me ever since and is one of the main reasons why I aim to help out those younger kids on my club team now. We never have all the answers or skill sets, but we can't also learn them if no is there to teach us. We always look up to our elders, but we've also got to remember that we ourselves are elders too.

81. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? (3/22/14)

I may have mentioned before that I'm horrible at remembering things from my childhood.. However off the top of my head right now I'd have to answer with the times that I got to spend with my swimming buddies when swimming was a sport I truly loved to do. I mean I still love it, but sports at a young age, one just wants to be there because of the sport and nothing else. That special time before one realizes that the world isn't the easiest place to live in. The age of innocence is probably a way you could put it. But that's probably one of my happiest childhood memories for sure.

82. Do you own your things or do your things own you? (3/23/14)

I'd have to say that I own my things. Mainly because I like to think of myself as a decently simple person, but I guess that's also for outsiders to decide.

83. Would you rather lose all your old memories or never be able to make new ones? (3/24/14)

Wow that's a hard question... I'd have to go with that I'd rather lose all my old memories then not be able to make new ones. Even though my past has shaped me to the person I am today, I would very much dislike being stuck in the past and not being able to move forward. I know that regardless of what were to happen God would take care of me and with every step forward who knows what joy could be encountered.

84. How do you deal with a person in a position of power that wants you to fail? (3/25/14)

Treat them with respect and though cliche, kill them with kindness. I mean it may be a pain to not lash out at someone who is hoping you'll fail, but to do your job correctly and trusting that the Lord will take care of you regardless of the outcome is all you can ever do. Taking too much into your own hands is setting yourself up for failure.

85. What do you have that you cannot live without? (3/26/14)

My "endless" amount of energy. It's one of the traits that I pride myself for and is one of the blessings from God that allows me to enjoy His creation and do my best to glorify Him in all that I do.

86. When you close your eyes what do you see? (3/27/14)

When I close my eyes, I see all the scenarios that could happen in life presently to me if I were to choose to go down whatever path before me. All thanks to my analytical mind...

87. What sustains you on a daily basis? (3/28/14)

God's grace, plain and simple. Even though I may think a lot of the time it's my own doing or that another person's joy is what sustains me. I know full well that it is indeed the Lord's grand provision for me.

88. What are your top five personal values (3/29/14)

Top five personal values are as follows:
1. Belief in Jesus Christ and that salvation is through Him alone
2. Loyalty
3. Service/Humility
4. Gracious
5. Adventurous/Open-minded

89. Why must you love someone enough to let them go? (3/30/14)

To love someone that much means that you care more about what's good for them than for yourself. It's looking past yourself and seeing that your togetherness could prove fatal (sounds drastic, my bad!) for them, and that happiness for them in turn means happiness for you, even if you two are apart.

90. Do you ever celebrate the green lights? (3/31/14)

Why yes I do! Especially when it's a string of green lights, when that happens it gives you that feeling that nothing can go wrong in your day. :-)

Going Deeper (Parts 14-40)

14. What's the difference between living and existing? (1/14/14)

The difference between living and existing is that when you exist you are just in this world. There is no meaning, no joy, no sustenance to keep moving. Yet for living you have a purpose. Hopefully that purpose is something greater than love, money, or people. Rather let it be God and if you choose that fateful route, you'll realize that the void you've had will begin to finally fill up. So wake up and live in Christ!

15. If not now, then when? (1/15/14)

If not now, then perhaps the most opportune time? Yea right, but hey that may be the best answer from me. Sure you've got to seize the moment, but there are times where tact is by far the best route. That being said knowing when to act rather than being uber spontaneous can work to your advantage in many situations. Just don't wait around too long because then you'll just miss all the fun!

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering? (1/16/14)

I guess the only thing I can probably mention in this is that lately I have sought to be a friend to an individual I recently met. Though that may not be worth remembering in the future, I think that this friendship could in fact blossom into a grand friendship and I hope to garner another person I can talk to any time about anything! :-)

17. What does your joy look like today? (1/17/14)

Today is a Friday and so my joy looks like what most people's is at the end of the week: relief. However this particular day an impromptu hangout with friends transformed that joy into an uppity joy in which laughter and energy was well expended. Lastly, since this weekend is a weekend in which I can work on things at home (i.e. clean and organize), I am so looking forward to putting everything together and clean the messes around the house that I have let slip from my grasp.

18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word? (1/18/14)

To lie without saying a word is very possible. Omission of facts, I consider a lie; however in the case of not speaking at all, holding one's tongue when the truth could in fact help a person out no matter how brutal is probably the best course. The old adage of "the truth will set you free" rings true here.

19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend? (1/19/14)

I guess it depends on whether this question is asking it in the light of how I speak to myself positively or negatively. Though I gather that it's asking for the negative side. That being said I guess I would allow that person to be my friend for a decent while so long as I thought them to be good person at heart. I think I mentioned in an earlier question that I tend to be stubbornly loyal so only if the person sought to destroy my every joy, I would still consider them to be my friend still.

20. Which activities make you lose track of time? (1/20/14)

The list of activities are as follows: great fellowship with awesome/close friends, being outdoors and being active, losing myself in a good swim practice, finding my groove while studying or working, reading a captivating book, phone conversations with those dear to me. Those are the ones off the top of my head at least.

21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach? (1/21/14)

Non-academically, I would teach swimming because that is one of the joys of my life. Maybe physical education since that's close enough to sports in schools. Academically, I think I would prefer to teach upper level math. I've always enjoyed analytical problems and being able to help students get that enjoyment too would be pretty cool. Of course if I were to teach I would do it in a fashion that would attempt to fully engage the class, as well as incorporate as many "fun" exercises as possible to drive home the point and help it stick in the students' minds.

22. What would you regret not doing, being, or having in your life? (1/22/14)

Sort of a cheesy answer, but I would regret not being Asian. As much as I respect the other cultures out there in the world, the Korean culture I've grown up in (it's not the fully immersed culture that's for sure) has instilled in me morals and values that I feel aren't as prevalent in lets say the American culture. Yes, I am stereotyping cultures here; however I feel as though my parents did a good job in making sure that I was brought up with the best of both worlds. Am I perfect? Oh heck no. But I fully embrace the Asian I am and would definitely regret not being of that race.

23. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? (1/23/14)\

Physically, yes I am. I've got so much unused things that I definitely need to do a sweep of them and trash it. Emotionally, yes I am. I've got to learn how to move on from people that I care about when they no longer are in my life.

24. When you are 80 years old, what will matter to you the most? (1/24/14)

When I'm 80, and I've realized how dumb of a person I was.  My "what matters the most" list will probably comprise of God, family, and friends.

25. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right? (1/25/14)

The correct time to do that in my opinion is all the time if the right thing pertains to the truth. Honesty is something that will save you in the long run. Sure you can make the correct risks and reap the full rewards, but if you're a crook no one will trust you. We're called to live honest lives by God and He will take care of us to our deaths regardless of the rewards we reap here on earth.

26. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? (1/26/14)

Hahaha the way I act is so different according to the situation, but I feel as though I still act like a kid who's around 13. I'm able to get along with those 6-10 years younger than me (for the most part at least) and I do many things instinctively to what I remember being taught or experienced. Plus my energy levels probably rival that those many years younger than I, so there's that too.

27. Would you break the law to save a loved one? (1/27/14)

Interesting though, and I would like to think I would break the law to save a loved one. Reminds me of this video Jubilee Project - Prodigal and I hope that I can be a father like that, mirroring the love of my true and heavenly Father to the fullest extent.

28 What makes you smile? (1/28/14)

The biggest thing that makes me smile is when I am able to bring joy/happiness to the ones closest to me. I do as much as I can to somehow make their lives better in any way. Perhaps I'm too overbearing, or stubbornly loyal, but I aim to see their smiles that in turn makes me smile. Like they say, happiness is contagious! The next thing probably is when I'm being active with friends, (swimming, cycling, running, playing tennis, ultimate frisbee, hiking, and countless other activities) and using the body the Lord provided me with, brings me joy and of course a smile :-)

29. When all is said and done, will you have said more than you have done? (1/29/14)

Unfortunately I think I will have said more than I have done. I will always dream of doing things and express those goals and dreams. However not all things are plausible in this day and age. I do wish that I'll be able to do a good number of things I express and then be able to encourage others to do the same and live their dreams to the fullest.

30. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be? (1/30/14)

My message would be to remember the love that God showed all of us and that we should do the same. Even though we all fail at it, there is nothing more enjoyable than being that friend to those who need it. Oh and maybe chime in there that money is not everything (that's something that bothers me, but another time for that).

31. If the average humans lifespan was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? (1/31/14)

I'd definitely not worry about retirement or the future. Rather live it day by day with what I have, and be in the company of my friends and family as much as possible. Do more of the things I love and remember that though my life here is short, for the rest of eternity I'm golden because of my Savior.

32. What do we all have in common besides our genes that make us human? (2/1/14)

I'd go out on a limb and say that we all share a heart that breaks for others (or at least one thing may it be a person, animal, or inanimate object)

33. If you could choose one book as a mandatory read for all high school students, which book would you choose? (2/2/14)

There are many books I've read that I think would be good, the Redwall series, anything by Tolkien or C.S. Lewis. But recently I read the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini and I would definitely put that on the list as a mandatory read. It opens one's eyes to another culture and stresses the point of redemption something that seems to be fading in the coming generations. And then maybe for the middle school level, I would recommend the book A Single Shard by Linda Sue Park.

34. Would you rather have less work or more work you actually enjoy doing? (2/3/14)

I would rather have more work I actually enjoy because when I'm doing something I enjoy, I don't mind the hours I put in. If I'm happy to do what I do then it's really not a job or work, rather a lifestyle and a blessing.

35. What is important to go to war over? (2/4/14)

I may be just saying this, and I don't know if I would ever have the guts to actually do this. But to go to war and fight the enemy over the salvation through Jesus Christ is definitely important enough.

36. Which is worse, failing or never trying? (2/5/14)

Never trying by a landslide. If you fail, at least you've gotten the courage to do it at least once. None of us have been able to pick up anything and on the first time become adept at it. It takes at least a few failures and then we begin to not suck. Then a few hundred more until we have become good at something. Greatness always begins at a failure, and ends only after a taxing and arduous journey.

37. When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing? (2/6/14)

I can't recall this actually. I do know that I've been trying to allot time to myself to get into that quiet place of solitude. There is so much of my energy devoted to going full throttle all the time that I forget to slow down. This is just a reminder that I need to remember that silence is golden for oneself just as much as fellowship is.

38. What's something you know you do differently than most people? (2/7/14)

One thing I think that I do differently than most people is that I try to keep in touch with my ex-girlfriends. I know it's not unique or anything, but because as I've mentioned in earlier posts, I have a hard time letting go of the people I've invested my time in. Past girlfriends are no different and thus I attempt to see how things are going with each of them (thankfully I only have 3 thus far). I still care for all of them and hope that life goes well for all of them, especially since the last thing I'd wish for is ill tidings on them.

39. What does the "American Dream" mean to you? (2/8/14)

The "American Dream" is that pinnacle of comfortability that each individual in the modern world hopes to attain through hard work. Yet these days the "American Dream" has been so blinded by the drive for more and more money and material possessions. Stuff doesn't make you happy and if that's your driving force behind life, I regret to inform you that you are living an unfortunate existence. This inequality sums it up quite well: [God + relationships] > material possessions.

40. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? (2/9/14)

As much as I would love to be a genius, if it were to come with hardships and stress, I would much rather be a joyful simpleton. Perhaps being a simpleton would make me naive, but as long as I was guaranteed a chance to accept the Lord as my Savior then I can take being simpleton for the rest of my life knowing that eternal life with my Creator awaits me.

Going Deeper (Parts 3-13)

The continuation of the questions...

3. What's the most sensible thing you've ever heard someone say? (1/3/14)

So I can't really think of anything recent right now. However a lesson that I've never forgotten was that growing up in elementary school, a teacher told my mother that though I was a bright student, I also knew that I was smart and so I was just a tad bit cocky. My mother informed me of this through a talk and though I can't recall where or when or how it came up; I won't forget the lesson of that humility does go a long way. Sure I still act conceited, look down on others who don't grasp things as easily as I do, or dismiss others without a second glance. But I'd like to think that I have surely toned down on what I could have become and think that one sensible thing told to me by mom via my teacher has impacted my life since then.

4. What gets you excited about life? (1/4/13)

Hmm... I'll be a nerd and say that learning gets me excited. But it's not the way you're probably thinking. Sure learning a new theory or concept is fine and dandy, but I am especially a fan of learning new things about people. I'd probably fit the criteria for a social person (thanks to my father), but I thoroughly enjoy getting to know people and then beginning to understand them. Spending time with people allows a person to see others in different lights and realize that everyone is truly unique. Give them the time and day and man you'll be blown away! Then comes a part that I really do love. It's when you become a good enough friend or even associate that trust is bestowed upon you. To know that you're dependable and trustworthy to another person, definitely gets me excited and I hope so much that when I do that I am able to glorify my Creator through the whole process.

5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way? (1/5/14)

*deep sigh* Yea hard life lessons suck. However thankfully I know better now. Guess I would just have to sum it up with that the life lesson I learned in the hardest way was the respect shown to a person in all regards of daily life. May it be public or private, group or one-on-one, respect of a person's wishes and well-being is definitely a lesson I will not forget.

6. What do you wish you spend more time doing five years ago? (1/6/14)

Let's see five years ago would be January 2009 which would be me in the middle of my freshman year of college. What I wish I had spent more time doing then would be not stressing about school and the weight of opinions and grades. It wasn't until my junior year that I began to truly stray away from the type A personality that I had so successfully cultured in high school. If I had been able to me the person I am today, I know I would have been able to enjoy more things and savor that time rather than scheduling out so much of that time for blocks of planned activities. Thank the Lord for easygoing Texans! :-)

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know? (1/7/14)

I guess it all depends on what the subject matter is really; however I'm pretty sure the question is geared towards life in general. I'm a pretty firm believer in that if you don't know what's going on, you should ask questions. However I have one stipulation: don't ask questions that can be obtained from observation or a quick search. Now if an immediate answer is needed then sure by all means ask a dumb question. But if you aren't inept or lazy, look for it and try it yourself. You don't have to squander your time and effort for hours, days, or weeks; rather exert some effort and then inquire. Good questions never hurt anybody and they sure as heck help one learn. You've just gotta let go of the ego in your hand and ask away!

8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it? (1/8/14)

The ones I love at the moment would be my family and close friends. What I'm doing about it these days is that I do my best to support them in whatever function possible. For my brothers as of late, it's been assisting them in finding things that they may need (or want) and helping them get that. For my parents, it's been the goal to bless them with gifts that I never thought I could give them. Lastly, for my friends, it's been me being there as a confidant, financial supporter, or just another person to be active with. Fellowships really can't be beat and frankly it's something we are called to do on this earth by our Savior.

9. What's a belief you hold with which many people disagree? (1/9/14)

I'm stubborn, and so I tend to not give up. It comes in very handy in school, work, athletics, and among other things. However stubbornness with relationships or loyalty if you put it in a better light is what I feel some of my friends would disagree with. I will try to stay in contact with you if you are a person I was close with that's for sure. And regardless of how many times I've been screwed over, I like to think that I end up being there for that person. My sympathy doesn't dry up quickly and I fault that to how I hate to give up. Giving up on a task is one thing, but giving up on a person, a living, feeling entity, is a whole different ball game. Relationships matter and if you mean that much to me. I'll do what I can with what I have til it's over.

10. What can you do today that a year ago that you were not capable a year ago? (1/10/14)

I'm going to stretch this one a bit and say a year and a half ago. But at that time I had no "actual" source of income due to the whole lack of occupation. However I was fortunate enough to land a job and since then have joined the "real" world. Now because of the money I make (which isn't anything super great or anything, but hey a job is a job). I now am able to give things to people that I've always wanted to. My brothers, my parents, and friends that I hold dear. I do what I can for them when they ask (or for some people when they don't and against their wishes). To me though it's just plain courtesy to assist those close to me that just aren't in the same boat.

11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength? (1/11/14)

Well first off I'm a sucker criers. Let me rephrase suckers for girls that I care about that cry. However I see crying more as a sign of strength because that just shows that you aren't afraid to let your emotions be seen. I define crying as tears of joy or sadness at the correct moments. I don't classify criers as people who are always sobbing day in and day out. Those are just fakes.

12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? (11/12/14)

Let's see what would I do differently? I would probably leave my job. Instead I would go about and do what I truly love to do. Go into serious training for something (i.e. swimming, running, triathlons, ultimate frisbee), explore, or even coach! I'm held back because I wish to be able to support others with what I do and I know that I can do that for them. But if I could do it differently like this, I so would.

13. Do you celebrate the things you have? (1/13/14)

I don't celebrate enough that's for sure. I take the things I have for granted. It's awful and I know it. A question a friend posed to me a year ago was "If you were to wake up with everything you thanked God for, how much would you have?" Hit me hard, and yet I still don't take the time to thank the Lord for what I have. Selfish I know, but I hope I can celebrate and be grateful to my wonderful heavenly Father!

Going Deeper (Parts 1 & 2)

Well the year 2014 is now here and I think I've finally decided that I do want to get back to posting things more frequently.

Thus to aid in that process, I've found a list of 365 questions that I'm going to go through for the next year and answer them in a weekly/bi-weekly post. So the titles of the posts will be "Going Deeper (Parts # - #)

Now to begin:

1. When was the last time you tried something new?

Taking the easy way out on this... I haven't technically started this "new" thing out; however it's been in my mind to start it for the past few months. Everyone knows the commotion of how "plugged" in the world is today. Well going against that, I do fully enjoy getting away at times. Most of the time it's because I'm off doing something outside, but afterwards I immediately check my phone for text messages or emails. Fail. So I was thinking that one night every week, I could turn off my cell phone and "get off the grid", get away from my comptuer/internet, and then perhaps read, learn something new, build a contraption or device, or maybe even write in the time I allot for myself. The goal is to get to at least an hour off grid, but of course as with everything, you've got to take baby steps before you can run. Who knows maybe a post or two will emerge out this hopeful new thing I aim to try!

2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?

Hmm who do I compare myself to... That's a very good question. I guess I could say that from time to time I compare myself to my father. My mom lets me know on how similar my dad and I are, and it's frighteningly true! I've learned so many habits and nuances from my father that I can at times clearly see that my downfalls are the ones that I criticize my dad for. But in reality, I embrace my similarity with him. As much as I hope to not be an exact replica of my father (which I'm not thank goodness), I hope to be as good of a person as he is to those around him and his family. His work ethic make me realize at times that I'm not as hardworking as I could be and that he as a person has truly grown in my eyes to be a gentler and calmer person when under large amounts of frustration. If I can model myself to be a father like him, I hope that my future children will be able to realize and appreciate what I do about my own dad.


Welp two questions down, 363 to go!

Meandering Thoughts

Forgive this post, but this is gonna be just a bit of a ramble and a dumping ground for some things that are swimming in my head....

Time since graduation last May is coming up to close to a year now. The question of me having a job was obviously settled when I was hired in August and so I've been working since then for roughly seven months now. To say that I've been doing well is a good conclusion. I'm at home saving money, I'm currently employed with a "real" job and my side coaching gig, and I'm in good health (no broken bones or anything close to it). Yet for me, I'm starting to 1) feel a bit worn out, 2) feel a bit cooped up, 3) contemplate certain job areas that most likely aren't feasible, and 4) see that yes I'm no longer who I was 4 or 5 years ago, but am still yearning to change into an even better child of God.

Life isn't really rough for me, and I can see that perhaps that because of the "spoiled" lifestyle I have this sounds like me just whining about this middle class life. But frankly I'm just not a fan of complacency. I seem to still have those grand illusions of grandeur, call me naive, but hey I still have them. Grandeur not in a luxurious lifestyle; rather living life to the fullest and exploring each new and open possibility.

Selfish? Maybe just a little. Curious? For fricken yes!

Who doesn't want to go explore different countries, pursue a deep down passion, or follow the road less traveled (or the one that hasn't even been touched yet).

As I answer when anyone answers about how life after college is going, I always state how "real" life sucks. I mean I haven't fully gone out and lived by myself yet, but the day-in and day-out schedule of work and being tied down to one place (and I have nothing against my hometown whatsoever I promise) seems to be getting the best of me. Guess that's the adventurer in me itching to get out...

Yet thankfully because of this current situation, my mind is swarming with possibilities ranging from totally insane but somewhat possible to slight modifications to my current lifestyle to downright dangerous endeavors. A lot of people would say that I am indeed crazy and my friends would concur that I do have my moments where lack of though is truly evident. But something I've learned in the past few years is to take those chances and see where they take you. God tends to enlighten you via the Holy Spirit if something is an absolutely horrendous idea (though it may take a bit longer than He anticipates for you to realize), and He will protect you in a life threatening situation so long as you haven't provoked the wrath of the Almighty for some odd blasphemous reason. Treading on that path, there comes the question if whatever you embark on is blessed by the Lord. Here's my take on it. If you are doing something that you truly love and it revolves around a gift that you've been blessed with by the Lord, I'm pretty sure there isn't anything wrong with it (now remember to take that with a grain of salt, there are also other underlying circumstances that would warrant you to not embark on grand adventures). Moreover if what you are doing is bringing glory to the Kingdom and you wholeheartedly give all credit to God, then I say go for it.

But being wary and timid, tends to stop those dreams. Am I not right? I mean here I am writing this post, wanting to do certain things, but thinking of all the possible predicaments that could arise do me no good in being confident to make those dreams, reality.

Now to top it all off, lets say all provisions, opportunities, and the biggest go ahead from the Lord is handed to me. I'm not entirely sure I'd want to go out and do it all by my lonesome. Sure the first few weeks would be great, but experiences are meant to be shared. The inner sap in me would want a friend to share the occasion with and the saying "two heads are better than one" rings true for when you're out and about doing who knows what.

All in all, I want a richer experience in this life. I don't want to waste time doing boring menial tasks. I want to be able to free run, explore New Zealand/Australia, sky dive, re-visit Greece and Italy, cycle across the country, open a restaurant, start a revolutionary business, road trip as far as a car can take me, rope swing through a massive canyon, zipline farther than two football fields, live in the woods/mountains for a period of time, live in a temple of monks and learn ancient martial arts, grow closer to my Savior and truly depend on Him for everything, go spelunking, rappel down buildings (and mountains), climb building (and mountains), and the list could go on.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to achieve even half that list above. But I do hope that I can live each day thinking that each of those opportunities are not impossible.

So like I mentioned at the start of this post, the brain dump of sorts has occurred. If you're intrigued at all and want to hear more feel free to contact me. And there you have my meandering thoughts....

Connections

So a few weeks ago I wrote up an email and it is here I want to perhaps expound upon a bit more.
Below is the email:

"It's not WHAT you know, it's WHO you know."

The above quote is something that is fully evident in today's job market.

How many times have you thought to yourself how, in fact, you are more qualified for a certain position than that brown-nosing bozo over there. Shows even though skill and expertise is sought for, a personal recommendation goes a bit farther.

Anyways those recommendations stem from the people, each and every one of us have interacted with in some way or another. Class, work, church, missions, community service, and various other places are the breeding grounds for people to stash away an opinion (good or bad) of you. Also let's not forget that those are also the places where we too jot down the most competent, lazy, or sociable person for future references.

So that being said, we should live our lives just how the Lord has instructed us to do. Living as humble servants will indeed bring us future glory (if not here on earth than in heaven for sure). But going beyond that, the people that we connect with are also of high importance. Acquaintances can be great, but [true] friends are what can swing a vote in our favor.

Thus those people we call friends, how many of them have you talked to recently? Take away any and every social media outlet. Rather count how many you've been able to actually be in contact with. I'll take a gander and say it's not too high for everyone. Then I'll throw a curveball at those who have been in contact with many people, was the time genuine and real? Genuine and real in no way mean that every single conversation is deeply moving/delving into personal matters. Rather is there sincerity between the two parties even in the briefest of interactions?

All that being said, and feelings of regret aside (well least for me since I haven't been too good in keeping up with people either), let's attempt to treasure the friendships that each of us have. The people who've been there in our best and worst times tend to be your closest companions, and it's those people that losing is probably a no-no. But going farther, let each passing conversation be something the Lord would be pleased to see. Like I said no need to delve into personal matters each and every time, but just being there is what matters.

Re-connect with those you've begun to drift away from. Memories are so worth it.

I can't recall if this quote is from a man I can call a mentor or if I heard it elsewhere, but here it is:

"Relationships matter. You can take two things to heaven: yourself and others.

Like I mentioned in the email; it can be hard to keep in contact with those we label as closest to us. But I'll ask why is it so hard?

For me (and many others), it's the whole getting wrapped up in our daily lives. The hustle and bustle of what we must accomplish is always set at work, school, and our little planners (physical, digital, or in our heads). But just like we plan to do certain tasks every day, we must also set aside time and focus on spending any amount of time with our closest acquaintances. It doesn't have to be every blinking second, but to check in every so often can mean the world to some people. I'll make a healthy assumption that every one would like to be remembered in a positive light in any or every aspect of their lives.

Thus why not start in something that is so simple as heartfelt hello to a friend each week?

I recently read a list of a few things that can help a person be their very best every day. One of those things that I really liked was in that every day we should define our top 3 priorities, the three most important tasks for the day. Manage your day accordingly and don't sleep until those top 3 are complete. Sounds simple doesn't it? But to accomplish something as easy as that, we've first got to intentionally and deliberately do the action to reap of any of it's rewards.